How To Not Ask A Girl Out

I’m currently sitting in an empty classroom at my college waiting for a class that doesn’t begin for another hour. Before I ended up here, I was getting lunch down the road at Bojangles. Before that, I was leaving my Sociology 101 when I experienced a very awkward encounter with an old “friend.”

Last semester I took a history class. I hated it so much. I fell asleep in class almost every day. There was nothing wrong with the professor or anything, I just hated learning about history. I was in that class for about a month until I made my first “friend.” This guy, who we’ll call Andrew, was obviously into me. I was very much not into him. I’m walking down the sidewalk on my way to my car when this guy stops me and says something like, “Hey, you’re in my history class, right?”

First of all, he knew I was in that class. I am a very observant person in places like a classroom and I tend to check out the people in a class that sit in front of me. I never saw Andrew once, which meant he sat behind me. Therefore, he probably knew I was in that class and didn’t need to ask if I was. The first time he talked to me, I didn’t get his name or anything.

A few classes later, Andrew properly introduces himself. He asked for my number and I, being the shy and scared teenager I was, gave it to him. At this point, I didn’t really know I wasn’t into him. I felt like the “¯\_(ツ)_/¯” meme. Don’t worry, it didn’t take long for me to realize how not interested in him I was. He texted me and tried to pull some kind of “Netflix and Chill” thing on me. Bare in mind this guy is basically a stranger and he already wants to watch Netflix and chill. I kept saying I was busy and couldn’t make plans. He said something like, “It’s okay if you’re scared to hang out with me.” This was a huge mistake on his part. First of all, I was not scared to hang out with him. I simply didn’t want to go to a stranger’s house and have him try to make a move on the first date. I also didn’t want to watch some stupid action movie that I wasn’t interested in at all.

Boys, take note. A few days after this happened, he asked me how much I weighed. I think it’s universally known not to ask a girl how much she weighs, but he was asking for a different reason. I said, “why do you want to know?” He says, “I want to know how many times I can curl you.” This guy literally thought I would find his own strength attractive. I come to school in ripped jeans, a burnt orange sweater, and Vans, and he thinks I want to know how many times he can curl me. I listen to alternative music and play video games in my spare time. I worked out one time and I almost fainted.

Basically, it was obvious Andrew was into himself. He didn’t try to read my personality and make plans with me based on what I might want to do. He just wanted me to come to his house and let him “curl” me.

All of these memories came back to life when I saw Andrew on campus today. I was walking with my friend Nadir when he walks by and says, “Hey Marnie!” I literally said hello and kept walking. He tried to ask me how my semester was going. I said it was fine and asked how his was, still walking away. I turned to look back at him and he was just standing there like he wanted to stop and talk. I just kept on walking. Nadir made fun of me to whole way to the cafe because of how awkward I was. But what was I supposed to do when this guy comes up to me and wants to curl me when I am extremely not into him? I decided that if I am not interested in talking to someone, I shouldn’t have to talk to him.

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